The Brothers Keg – Folklore, Myths And Legends Of The Brothers Keg

The Brothers Keg – Folklore, Myths And Legends Of The Brothers Keg
APF Records
Release Date: 11/09/2020
Running Time: 43:45
Review by Alun Jones
9.5/10

And lo, the ancient seers have foretold of the coming of the Brothers Keg. Anticipation building slowly, the wise masters of APF Records have foretold a fortuitous event, something that would elate the masses and bring joyous union to the land. At least it feels that way! Old Al can’t be the only one who’s been expecting something special with this release?

The Brothers Keg are a three-piece band from London way, comprising Tom Fyfe on drums, Tom Hobson on guitar and vocals and Paul Rosser on bass/vocals. Together, their music is colossal stoner/doom with a huge sound, massive ambition, and a fine angle on self-mythologising. The result is an album so epic, so over the top, and downright fun, that the Brothers deserve every ounce of assured swagger that they no doubt possess.

Tom Hobson himself describes the sound as “HP Lovecraft meets Queen’s ‘Flash Gordon’ listening to Jeff Wayne’s ‘War of the Worldsat the wrong speed, smoking a medieval spliff dipped in poppers.” That’s this review written really – do I need to sell this any harder to you?!

If you need more persuasion, imagine a cult sci-fi fantasy B-movie soundtrack featuring spoken word narration and bludgeoning riffs, and you’re halfway there. Tracks like ‘Moorsmen’, and ‘The Army Of The Thirsty Blade Approaches’, are skull splittingly mighty, generating a genuine feeling of excitement.

‘No Earthly Form’, and ‘Brahman’ have it all: heavy guitar and pounding rhythm; countered with atmospheric psychedelia that the listener can absorb like a movie. ‘Brahman’ is nearly 13 minutes of music that doesn’t outstay it’s welcome: from meditative chanting, a killer stoner riff, and washes of acid-soaked guitars creating a spacious landscape.

The narration adds to the band’s mystique without being cheesy or silly. Yes, it’s all ridiculously good fun – but the sheer weight of musical invention adds up to something exceptional. Add in some glorious cover artwork (that looks like a cyborg He-Man pursued by a demented Skeletor) and “Folklore, Myths And Legends Of The Brothers Keg” possesses an undeniable charisma. I want the vinyl, the t-shirt, the poster – I want everything! Hell, I want Brothers Keg action figures (with weapons and musical accessories, features small parts, ages 3 and up) and I want them NOW!

Another contender for album of the year? You betcha.

Of course, the Brothers Keg aren’t the only famous brothers in rock. Those crazy Van Halen boys are two of my favourites – oh, I used to have some wild times with them. Like the time they pulled the thread out of the crotch of David Lee Roth’s pants, so when he performed one of his patented scissor jumps – the pants split, and Diamond Dave’s family jewels were revealed for all. You didn’t need to be in the front row to see it everything, I can tell you.

Dave had his revenge at a later gig, though. Backstage, he switched out the blue M&Ms in a complimentary dish for laxative pills; Eddie’s tight white trousers were not a pleasant site at all that night. Now you know why their rider has always stipulated the blue M&Ms are removed ever since…

TRACKLISTING:
01. Moorsmen
02. From the Records of Arthur Shnee
03. No Earthly Form
04. The Ice Melteth
05. Introducing the Brothers Keg
06. Brahman
07. The Army of the Thirsty Blade Approaches
08. Castle Keg
09. Epilogue

LINE-UP
Tom Fyfe – Drums
Tom Hobson – Guitar/Vocals
Paul Rosser – Bass/Vocals

LINKS

Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Alun Jones and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.

Desert Storm – Omens

Desert Storm – Omens
APF Records
Release Date: 01/05/2020
Running Time: 39:46
Review by Alun Jones
9.5/10

Put your feet up, relax – pour yourself a drink and take the weight off your feet. All you need to do is chill – I’ve already done the hard work. I’ve found your new favourite band: they’re called Desert Storm, and their latest album has just been released by APF records.

If you’re new to the name, Desert Storm are from merry old Oxford; and since forming in 2007, have been building their following formidably. They’ve appeared at major rock festivals; plus supported and toured with some personal heroes of mine (Corrosion of Conformity, The Atomic Bitchwax amongst others). I saw Desert Storm a few years ago supporting the mighty Karma to Burn; they managed to steal the show from the headliners, as far as I was concerned.

Opening with a sombre, haunting spoken word piece, “Omens” proceeds to take the listener on a journey that is powerful, yet also introspective. It’s an otherworldly trip that’s both visceral and immediate, but also demands greater exploration.

‘Black Bile’ demonstrates the strategy perfectly: heavy, grinding and relentless – with moments of melody that blend into the whole without jarring. In absolute basics, this is the sludge of Down combined with the aspirational progressiveness of Mastodon. Thudding, head banging riffs adorn ‘Vengeful Gods’, but there’s also an almost Morricone-like cinematic sensation as the song develops and grows.

At times anthemic, there are also magnificently effective sections of the songs that contrast beautifully with the hard driving doom metal.  ‘Pain, Grief And Suffering’ features an extended mid-section that is beguilingly serene. When the heavy re-enters, it’s all the more neck-breakingly persuasive. Throw in a captivating solo and you’re on to a highlight.

‘The Path Of Most Resistance’ builds from humble beginnings to a massive groove riff of Sabbathian splendour; whilst ‘Lockjaw’ is short and brutal. This leads us to the final track, ‘Rebirth’: a masterpiece that is heavy only in sentiment. What a song. Despite a medieval vibe, it’s the ideal soundtrack to spin whilst driving through the desert in a stolen Dodge Challenger as the sun sets, with Smokey on your tail.

Every song on “Omens” can be enjoyed on its own merits, but as a whole plays as a genuine compendium that the listener can enjoy from start to finish. I knew Desert Storm were good, but I didn’t expect them to have grown so much. Or deliver a new album with so much scope. Here’s a British band that could step up into national – and then international – consciousness. They just need your support. Do it. I’m off to buy the vinyl version.

Talking about deserts – did I tell you about that infamous escapade on one of my legendary soul-searching soirees into the Mojave? I crept into my usual cave to seek shelter, only to encounter Jim bloody Morrison hogging it. He was out of his gourd on peyote and mumbling about Aldous Huxley or some such. There was no way I could meditate with that loon around, so I threw him out. Break through that to the other side, Jimbo! My Yaqui shaman and I needed the space to contact Atlantis.

TRACKLISTING:
01. Omens
02. Black Bile
03. Vengeful Gods
04. Pain, Grief and Suffering
05. The Path Of Most Resistance
06. The Machine
07. Lockjaw
08. Rebirth

LINE-UP:
Chris White – Guitar, Bass, Keyboards, Backing Vocals
Ryan Cole – Guitar
Chris Benoist – Bass
Elliot Cole – Drums
Matthew Ryan – Vocals

LINKS:
www.facebook.com/desertstormuk/
www.desertstorm.bandcamp.com/
www.twitter.com/desertstormuk
www.instagram.com/desertstormuk/
www.facebook.com/apfrecords/
www.apfrecords.bandcamp.com/
www.apfrecords.co.uk/

Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Alun Jones and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.

Trippy Wicked and The Cosmic Children of The Knight – Moving On Singles

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Trippy Wicked and The Cosmic Children of The Knight – Moving On Singles
APF Records
Release Date: 30/10/2019
Running Time: 21:24
Reviewed By: Dark Juan
9/10

Good evening, my initiates. It is I, the Ipsissimus of all things Groovy, Dark Juan, and I am here to take your mind off the mundane and into realms of cosmic thought never truly encompassed in the human journey before. Or I could just write a record review.

However, I’m sure you have all become accustomed to me babbling incoherently about anything but the record I am supposed to be writing about AND THIS TIME IS GOING TO BE NO DIFFERENT! However this time, it’s a simple message I want to share with you all. After all this unpleasantness to do with rich bastards squabbling over who gets to tell us what to do and lying about what they will give you to make you like them is out of the way (they won’t give you what they promise anyway) take the time to reconnect with people who might have different opinions to you.

Love everyone without question, my people, for that is what makes the world a better place. Not which motherfucker in a suit sits in a leather chair and talks a lot. Love each other and for fuck’s sake look for the good in each other because I have never seen such venom and vitriol flying amongst friends before. It’s fucking depressing to see friendships that are years old fall apart because of shitposting on the internet. Us alternative people only have each other to depend on – so fucking love each other, drink the fucking beer, smoke the fucking weed, hug fucking strangers and turn them into fucking friends and dance the fuck out of every piece of metal you hear. So sayeth My gospel. Here endeth the sermon…

Trippy Wicked and The Cosmic Children of The Knight. Now there’s a name to conjure with and no mistake. I like it. I like it a lot. This EP comprises four songs that didn’t make the Movin On (I hate it when bands do this. There’s a G at the end of the word for a reason. STOP IT FOR FUCK’S SAKE!) album recorded in 2009 and as the demented pscyhonauts themselves put it, “10 songs had made the album while the other 4 went in the cupboard under the stairs and were forgotten about for a while. Since then we’ve played a whole bunch of gigs, released another album and a few EPs, went on a few tours around the UK and Germany, and generally did what bands do. The 10 year anniversary is a perfect opportunity for us to revisit the recording on Movin On, give those 4 extra songs a release and finally share them with our fans. So here they are. Dig it.”

Quite. So here we have four songs based on absolute fuzz heaven. Fuzzy fuzzy fuzz fuzz with a bit of fuzz-wah thrown in for variety. It is stoner doom distilled down to the most basic elements of stoner doom – highly distilled Sabbath riffs, lazy tempos, thunderous fuzzy bass (if only the bass player was called Fozzy, then my life would be complete) and a drummer who seems intent on reducing his drums to their component atoms instead of playing them.

Opening track “Evil” starts with the sound of a bad earth before the instruments all kick in together with the kind of punch in the guts a certain Mr. Tyson might deliver if you upset him and a heartbreakingly beautiful palindromic riff of such stoner splendour this hellpriest fell to his knees and wept against the sofa. Hodgson Fartpants (the only dog to be classified as an illegal chemical weapon under both NATO rules and the Geneva Convention. Not even the Russians would have him) was sat on it at the time and gave me a look best described as quizzical and not “What the fucking fuck is that fucking demented human bastard doing this time and why does it not involve feeding me?” It is very, very good as it stomps all over the landscape like some kind of ironclad assault walker. Vocals from Peter Holland are very Ozzy-esque as well, having that high pitched, throaty and raw quality that the auteur Mr. Osbourne had when he fronted Sabbath the first time.

Track two “Hark At You” is more of the same wholesome stoner wonderfulness but a bit faster this time, as if the boys had put down the weed and decided a bit of the old Billy Whizz was the way to go this time. It’s a bit of a goer, this song, like it’s had its arse whipped sore by a vigorous rider and moves along at a brisk canter.

“Things Go Up” is the third song in. This is where Peter decided that we needed to hear his fuzz-wah. He was right. We all needed to hear his fuzz-wah. Fuzz-wah me, baby. It’s soooooooooo good. I love it when you fuzz-wah me. Don’t stop. Drummer Chris West had apparently also decided that his cymbals had to die on this song and gave his crashes the kind of thrashing that only Basil Fawlty can deliver with any conviction.

The final song on the record is called “I Wanna Be” and sees the entire fucking kitchen being thrown at the song, not just the sink. There’s wah, there’s phaser, there’s the kind of monolithic riffs Kirk Windstein and Tony Iommi would face off in a grim battle to the death to claim to have written. And the bass. Oh, the bass. Dicky King (probably deploying the smile of champions he is displaying in the band photo) goes into some kind of fuzz nirvana and disappears (in my head anyway) into a pineal focus streaming outwards from his third eye in glorious psychotropic colour, dissolving into a self-contained universe of the groove…

Ok, I have managed to contain myself. It’s cost me a pair of pants, as it usually does. Trippy Wicked are awesome. Buy their music.

Trippy Wicked, I salute you. Now I’m going to drink this beer.

The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System is floating motionless in a universal groove constant and awards Trippy Wicked etc etc 9/10 for a trip through the psychedelic heartlands that leaves me wanting more…

Tracklist

Evil
Hark At You
Things Go Up
I Wanna Be

Trippy Wicked and The Cosmic Children of the Knight are: quite clearly insane.
Pete Holland – vocals, guitars, brass, slightly worrying propensity to look at your left ear when talking to you.
Dicky King – bass, winning smile, award winning face fuzz.
Chris West – drums, knowing smirk. This man has seen things – things that would fuck you right up.

Links

https://www.facebook.com/trippywicked/
https://www.instagram.com/trippywicked/

 

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Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of Dark Juan and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.