Eximperitus – Šahrartu

Eximperituserqethhzebibšiptugakkathšulweliarzaxułum – Šahrartu
Willowtip Records
Release date: 29/01/2021
Running Time: 38:34
Review by Dark Juan

Alright, muckers? It is January, it’s pissing it down outside and I am being forced to dispense cuddles to the warhound that goes by the name of Sir Zeusington-Zeus VC, KCVG, MM, Croix de Guerre, DFM and Bar because he’s feeling sorry for himself. Hence, I am typing this with one hand so it’s taking a while. Now I have been invaded by the rest of the pack – the Dread Lord Sir Igor Egbert Bryan Clown-Shoe Cleavage-Hoover is trying to attack my feet whilst Hodgson Biological-Warfare is insisting it is time for his tea, three hours too early. The travails! The travails I go through to bring you high quality record reviews, my dear, beautiful readership! (Insert dramatic collapse upon my chaise longue with a hand to my fevered brow here.)

However, January has brought me some music to listen to, and as you all know I am a child of extremity in both styles of music and concept. The bar has been set extremely loftily indeed for high concept extreme metal of late, with Manchester’s The Machinist and Canada’s Fractal Generator releasing genre smashing works of absolute genius – have a root on Ever-Metal’s review section and you’ll find me unleashing disturbing torrents of enthusiasm about them. However, we are not here for me to tell you how great they are in this instalment of manic frothing about metal. We are here to discuss something rather more exotic.

Eximperituserqethhzebibšiptugakkathšulweliarzaxułum (I shit you not and I’ll only be spelling that fucker once, everyone else shortens it to Eximperitus, but I am an annoying bastard and I have decided the band for the rest of this review shall be known as Dave) are from Eastern climes, more specifically Minsk in Belarus, which, let us be fair, is not a hotbed of metal talent normally. ‘Šahrartu’ is Dave’s second album and a companion piece to their debut, nattily entitled “Prajecyrujučy Sinhuliarnaje Wypramieńwańnie Daktryny Absaliutnaha J Usiopahłynaĺnaha Zła Skroź Šaścihrannuju Pryzmu Sîn-Ahhī-Erība Na Hipierpawierchniu Zadyjakaĺnaha Kaŭčęha Zasnawaĺnikaŭ Kosmatęchničnaha Ordęna Palieakantakta, Najsta” which is apparently written in a transliterated form of archaic Belorussian. Whereas that worthy release (which I am NEVER typing again) concerned itself with life and creation, “Šahrartu” (translated by the joy of Google Translate as something resembling Devastation) is a companion piece more interested in the darker side of life and more specifically the end of it. Also, the lyrical component of “Šahrartu” follows a fairly unique path, being composed to a specific form and having only eleven lines to each song and I am probably not having the full experience of the album as Dave themselves say that there are (and I’m quoting them here) “In comparison with previous releases, the lyrics of ‘Šahrartu’ seem drained. There is no former plethora of terms, names, allegories, epithets and metaphors. But despite the apparent simplicity and accessibility, this is an extremely conceptual work. The design of [the] physical format contains a lot of connecting links, references and unique elements, without which a complete understanding of the release is impossible. The spells on the album noticed by a watchful listener serve the focus of Black Logos within microcosm. They are composed in so called artlang, a constructed language for a work of art.”

Which for this Satanic simpleton means that Dave are extremely interesting. The music they play (there appears to be three members in the limited photos of Dave that I can find and ABSOLUTELY no suggestion of their names anywhere on the interwebs) is technical death metal with a large and puissant esoteric component. The production of the record is somewhat…unusual. The drums are muffled and lack punch, yet the cymbals are pin sharp. The bass is satisfyingly huge (fnarr, fnarr) yet the guitarist’s pedal box appears to be a Boss MT-2 and a compressor and that’s it apart from the echo and chorus. However, Dave 1 (I have ascribed numerical values to the members because I have no other way of telling you who’s doing what) is a fine player and his riffs run from the awesome to the sublime. Dave 2 (bass) is also a worthy musician, twatting the cables that pass for strings on his instrument with speed, precision and considerable aplomb. Dave 3 (drums) appears to be an amphetamine fuelled madman – on opener and instrumental (emphasis on the mental) ‘Šaqummatu’ he goes from slow, gentle tinking on cymbals over the sound of arctic winds through to what can only be described as a rampant, speed fuelled onslaught on his kit as the guitar builds up from quiet to fucking loud. So, all three Dave’s in Dave are very good musicians. Thankfully, they can write some absolutely brutal music as well as being skilled players. They have mastered a rare thing with death metal – they have managed to light and dark work. The sheer sonic mayhem of death metal is occasionally mastered and it flows organically into beautiful, quieter passages that still drip with venom. VocalDave (or possibly Dave 4 – fuck knows and trust me I have scoured the internet for hours trying to find out for you all) is a mighty DM vocalist – his throat has been constructed from RSJs and hydrochloric acid and his is a bowel shaking rumble. Clearly, he is not human.

I can’t pick out standout tracks because this is an, “Antique tragedy in six acts, each of which is a chapter dedicated to a certain stage in the existence of being” and therefore has to be taken as a complete body of work in six movements. Using that as a basis for my opinion, I have to say this is one of the most expansive and experimental esoteric records I have heard in a long while and I am definitely going to be buying a physical copy so I can get the full experience of Dave. Plus, I am a denizen of the underground and for our kind of music Eastern frontiers are about as underground as you can get at the moment.

Is it worth your pennies/dollars/kopecks then? Oh hell yes, as long as you can ignore the slightly dodgy production and are able to grasp that song titles are in a variety of ancient languages, you’ll love it. I did.

The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System (Запатэнтаваная сістэма ацэнкі брызг крыві ў цёмным коле) makes its first appearance of 2021 in a spangly, ABBA inspired new jumpsuit and awards Dave (Eximperituserqethhzebibšiptugakkathšulweliarzaxułum) a mighty 8/10. Marks off for shocking guitar sound and dodgy production. Otherwise, it’s a great record.

(Thought you might appreciate the translations and the languages)
01. Šaqummatu (Sumerian – Silence)
02. Utpāda (Sanskrit – Genesis)
03. Tahâdu (Assyrian – Becoming/Prosperity)
04. Anhûtu (Akkadian – Dilapidation)
05. Inqirad (Arabic – Decay)
06. Riqûtu (Akkadian – Absence)

Dave 1 (GuitarDave )- Guitars
Dave 2 (BassDave) – Bass
Dave 3 (DrumDave) – Drums
And possibly a Dave 4 (VocalDave) doing vocals.

It’s not me not doing due diligence. I have spent rather a long time researching this Belarusian band and it is nigh on impossible to find anything out about them as people. Hence, they are all called Dave, as every band in the western hemisphere has had a Dave in it at some point.


Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of ‘Dark Juan’ and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.