Dark – Inside The Void EP
Release Date: 30/04/2021
Running Time: 14:25
Review by Dark Juan
Once again I return to the fray, to put more music to the sword, to exhort you metal fiends to ever greater frenzies of worship at the altar of heavy fucking metal and to remind you to love each other endlessly and without reserve. Fear not the wankers in fake Burberry scarves and tracksuits. You are all metal warriors and therefore you have a denim (interestingly the computer thought I meant demon and put that instead of denim. I imagine there are a significant number of you all who might be clad in demons) and leather and lace clad army of friends around you. You are my people, my family and the special ones that keep our music alive. Just thought you needed a bit of a motivational pick me up after what could charitably be described as a reasonably challenging year. Just like Ann Widdecombe could be described as a reasonably challenging wank.
In other news, I have coerced my new gothpooter into behaving itself and justifying the text where I fucking put in it the first place. Whilst the verbal threats seemed to leave the gothpooter unimpressed with my sincerity and it flat refused to do what IT WAS FUCKING TOLD TO, the physical threat of a combination of the window, gravity, just how far it could fly when propelled by a strong right arm and the nearest sledgehammer appeared to do the trick and it is now happily defaulting to my will. If I could get away with hand-writing this nonsense, I would. But no, microelectronics and swearing are the way forward. In other news fuck knows what’s wrong with me. This is my second review of the day and I seem to not be able to stop writing. Oh well, here’s hoping our feudal Lord and Master Rick “Don’t Big Yourself Up So Much, Simon Writes Seven Reviews To Your One, You Northern Oik” Tilley will bestow his favour upon me (I’ll think about it – Rick 😊). Just this once. Failing that, I’ll just ask Victor instead. He likes me. He says this, but he’s in Brazil where he is safe.
Dark are a gothic rock band from Sweden and this is a four track EP so I will dispense with the usual platitudes about production and the like (because it is particularly good and doesn’t need hundreds of words writing about it) and I shall do a blow by blow (form an orderly queue to the left, ladies. I will get to you presently…) or should I say song by song account of this four track…
‘Finally Home’ (or ‘My Town’, as Groove Music is confused about what the actual fucking song is called) is the opening number and it starts with a jaunty, almost carnival like riff that references surf rock and post punk and the vocals kick in, in short order, and it’s like “Fuck me! Is that Dave Vanian?” Yes, vocalist Erik Molarin appears to be the vocal doppelganger of the erstwhile The Damned crooner circa “Phantasmagoria”. This means that you can expect overtly sexual baritone singing. There is NOTHING wrong with this at all and I’m a boy who’s strictly hetero. An excellent and promising start to the record with a rousing chorus and it’s like I’m back in the late 80s again.
The second song is called ‘One Of Us’ and it could best be described as the more emotional moments of Paradise Lost (think ‘One Second’ or ‘Mercy’) meets The Damned (specifically on ‘Sanctum Sanctorum’) with lots of choral backing vocals on a bleak, bleak chorus where Erik approaches Peter Steele levels of baritone menace. Far and away the best song on the EP, even with the false ending. It will be one for a driving playlist and no mistake. It’s a good old goth song, as in it could have been played in The Batcave in 1990.
‘Die Together’ is the charmingly named third song and is possessed of the weakest chorus on the record (“You wanna die together, because it turns you on” which is a bit banal to say the least. Most gothic girls I know are proper interested in living because you can’t get drunk and put on your finery if you have carked it over some hirsute idiot with overly elaborate eye makeup) but the music is a pleasing amalgam of The Mission, Red Lorry Yellow Lorry and HIM (without Ville Valo ruining it by opening his gob) with yet more Vanian-channeling on the vocal. Good, but not exceptional and somewhat out of step with the other songs on the EP.
The final cut on this rather splendid little black gothic pearl is ‘Memories’ and Dave Vanian…. Sorry, I mean Erik croons in magnificently moody fashion over a mid-paced musical ménage a trois of the Jesus And Mary Chain, Fields Of The Nephilim and The Sisters Of Mercy before an abrupt and clattering end that frankly cut short a prolonged and powerful eargasm, because I am a sad old goff and having this sort of music with this sort of deep baritone vocal returning to my attention in 2021 is more exciting than prolonged and deviant sex with the ENTIRE Brazilian AND Australian beach volleyball teams AND the main cast of The Craft.
On that happy mental image, I’ll leave you. Your husbands and wives will thank me later.
The Patented Dark Juan Blood Splat Rating System (Det patenterade värderingssystemet Dark Juan blodsplatter) awards Dark 9/10 for a gothtastic four tracker. The usual mark for leaving me hanging when I’m totally into the music has been deducted, because I wanted MORE!!! (A concerted effort had to be made to not sing “And I need all the love that I can’t get to” after that.) Apart from that, generally masterful short, sharp post-punk shocks with added heavy rock.
Best of all, this review is less than one thousand words long. You’re welcome. Oh, it’s not… Fuck. Sorry, not sorry.
‘Finally Home’ (Lyric Video)
01. Finally Home
02. One Of Us
03. Die Together
Dave Vanian… NO!!! SORRY!!! Erik Molarin – Vocals, Guitar
Jonas Strömberg – Guitar
Mats Törnebohm – Drums
Jörgen Ström – Bass
Disclaimer: This review is solely the property of ‘Dark Juan’ and Ever Metal. It is strictly forbidden to copy any part of this review, unless you have the strict permission of both parties. Failure to adhere to this will be treated as plagiarism and will be reported to the relevant authorities.